Doctors Appointments

I had my 6 week postpartum appointment on the 2nd and my 2 week post op appointment on the 3rd. 

Post op went well, He said that my scars where healing nicely. I addressed my concern with some possible swelling and tenderness. He assured me that it was still early and as long as I continued with my medicine, light duty at work, and watched my diet and alcohol consumption I'd be fine.

Ob appointment also went well. Of course she asked how I was doing physically and mentally. I'm still down my 25+ lbs from the pregnancy and loss and now another 5+ from the surgery, so about 30 total. Emotionally I'm doing the same, I have my good days and my bad. I let her know my cycles still hadn't returned, so we again discussed Clomid but for now we decided to wait 6 months. She gave us the go ahead to start ttc again and not waiting the 2 cycles she originally said which I'm happy about and so is the hubs. She wants me back in 6 months but hopefully it will be before then.

 We then got to go out of town for the 4th of July to visit some friends in Chattanooga and after 6 weeks finally got to spend some "quality" time together.

*Update*  My cycle did return on the 11th. I think I'm one of the few women who were happy about getting their period, while its not the outcome I wanted, it does give me a started point to base off of. And I'm pretty sure I ovulated on the 28th, so fingers crossed.

Another hard day

Sunday was a hard day but I expected to be. See we had to attend my brother in law and his wife's baby shower. From the moment I found out about it (which was only 2 days before) I was anxious, I knew it would bring up a lot of emotions. After church and lunch we still had to go by a gift. From the moment I walked in the baby store I was nervous. After we printed out the register and started to walk down the aisle I felt on overwhelming emotion and just started to break down. L was very understanding and supportive and offered to take me back home but I knew I had to get through it because we still had to go to the shower later that afternoon. I just tried to concentrate on the girl stuff. I couldn't even make eye contact with L or look at the boys stuff. 

I didn't really leave L side from the moment we arrived at the shower. It honestly helped that I didn't know a whole lot of people there, no one to feel pity for me or ask how I was doing. I pretty much just kept to myself, watched the guys play pool and only came inside when they were opening presents but even then I just stayed in the back with L.

At this point I don't know if I'll ever be able to see baby boy stuff without crying or go to a shower for a friend and not be an emotional mess. I have a good friend in Chattanooga who is due a week after I was and is having a boy, I guess that will be my test of whether I can handle myself.