Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Life After Loss

To say it's been a hard month is an understatement. Some days I just sit and think about everything I've lost and other days I get through okay but he is always in the back of my mind. 

I was out of work from the 24-30. I went back on Saturday the 31st, I kinda kept to myself, so happy that not a lot of people knew what had happened.

The 1st was hard because that's the day we were going to have gender reveal party.
That Friday the 6th I went out to dinner with some girlfriends for my birthday. We had Mexican and I had my first drink since March, it was really nice but kinda bittersweet honestly.
On Saturday, my birthday, I had an early meeting at work,  I then had the rest day off. L and I went to Ren Fest for the day. He bought me some jewelry
  and D (who we ended up meeting up with) got me a beautiful hand thrown pot. (pics don't do either of them justice)
That night I finally got to go swimming for the first time at C&A's and had almost a whole bottle of wine.
Sunday the 8th was PR's last service at BFUMC. I of course cried, that man has been a big part of me and L's life/relationship for the past 9yrs.
On the 12th I woke up in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in my back and chest/rib area, I've had this pain before and never thought anything of it because I usually just end up going back to sleep and it's gone in the morning but it never went away. I ended up leaving work early that day. That night I went to the ER but ended up leaving before they bought me back cause the pain started to go away.
Saturday the 14th I went to Urgent Care after work because the pain had not gone away and I now had headaches and a low grade temp. They took blood and urine and sent them off for testing and in the mean time sent me home with pain medicine. (which did nothing)
On Wednesday the18th I went to meet my friend T at a new local farmers market that just opened and as I was walking in got a call from the urgent care doctor to have me come back in for testing. I went and had coffee with another friend and stopped into work. Finally around 3 pm I went to UC and they sent me to the ER to run some test and get an ultrasound.
taking seflies in the ER
I honestly thought I'd be in and out but they ended up admitting me to have my gallbladder removed. I stayed the night Wednesday and Thursday (because they originally told me I'd have it Thursday) and then Friday morning around 8 am I went in for surgery. I don't remember much, just L being with me in Pre-Op and then the lights and gas mask in the OR, them trying to wake me up in recovery. My parents and L were waiting for me in my room when they brought me back up. I remember trying to move from the gurney to my bed, I was in so much pain. I stayed one more night in the hospital because they pain medicine wasn't really working. I finally got to go home around 12 on Saturday. I was out of work again from the 19th til the 30th.

On the 24th two of my aunts were in town and came over to my parents house. We some how got on the topic of babies and I told them what happened to us. Later that evening we took them to M&J's new house and I realized it was the first time I had been there since the night we lost Charles, exactly 1 month later. 

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