Monday, June 30, 2014

Another hard day

Sunday was a hard day but I expected to be. See we had to attend my brother in law and his wife's baby shower. From the moment I found out about it (which was only 2 days before) I was anxious, I knew it would bring up a lot of emotions. After church and lunch we still had to go by a gift. From the moment I walked in the baby store I was nervous. After we printed out the register and started to walk down the aisle I felt on overwhelming emotion and just started to break down. L was very understanding and supportive and offered to take me back home but I knew I had to get through it because we still had to go to the shower later that afternoon. I just tried to concentrate on the girl stuff. I couldn't even make eye contact with L or look at the boys stuff. 

I didn't really leave L side from the moment we arrived at the shower. It honestly helped that I didn't know a whole lot of people there, no one to feel pity for me or ask how I was doing. I pretty much just kept to myself, watched the guys play pool and only came inside when they were opening presents but even then I just stayed in the back with L.
At this point I don't know if I'll ever be able to see baby boy stuff without crying or go to a shower for a friend and not be an emotional mess. I have a good friend in Chattanooga who is due a week after I was and is having a boy, I guess that will be my test of whether I can handle myself. 

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