Today was my first post op appointment with my Ob-Gyn. I felt like I waited forever in the exam room, I think I read every sign on the walls at least 10 times. She of course asked me how I was doing physically and mentally. I never know exactly how to answer that.
Physically - I'm okay, I've got very little cramping and occasionally spotting 10 days out. I'm down 5lbs but then again I lost 20 through the pregnancy. I'm still wearing my maternity work pants cause my stomach is still a little bloated and let's be honest they're comfy. I've had a little breast tenderness and some milk come in, but that has past. So physically is almost like nothing ever happened.
Now emotionally it's completely different. I have my good days and bad, and even in my good days I have bad moments. There are no words to describe what it's like to be so beyond happy one day and feel completely empty the next. I have dealt with depression in my past so I know what it feels like, and while I do feel down, I don't think I'm going back down that dark path. Because of my amazing God, husband, family and friends I have the strength and courage I never had before.
So of course the dreaded question was asked... What's the next step?
We definitely want to started trying again right away. And luckily my doctor is on bored with that. She wants us to wait 4 weeks total til we can have sex again ( so only 2 more weeks) and 2 cycles til we start ttc. While I wish we didn't have to wait almost 3 months I know it's what is best. She's upping my folic acid (which should help with future complications) and I'm starting back my metformin and continuing my prenatal and juice plus. She did mention started Clomid if my cycles don't return regularly. So in the mean time I am just going to eat healthy and exercise (maybe I can drop a few more pounds)
We did get the pathology back today and they don't think it was a chromosomal issue, just something that happened, which is good news but doesn't give us any closer. Because we decided to only send cord to pathology and have the baby cremated, we didn't get a full report.
My next appointment is July 2, 4 weeks away. I will update y'all then!