Friday, May 27, 2011

Marriage in the 21st Century

My parents with me and my husband on our wedding day, 10/23/10

Yesterday marked the 27th anniversary of the day my parents got married! 27 years together is alot these days, ecspecially with the divorce rate at 50% and it goes up if one or both of the people have been divorced before (which applies in this case). They've gone through a lot in their years together, and I'm sure me and my sisters never made it easy for them. My dad has a weird since of humor (it's one thing I don't mind saying I got from him) He always tells us he would be rich if he didn't get married and have kids, which I think is the case with most people. But then Agna he also says when you ask him which kid is his favorite, and he says he doesn't have a favorite... he hates us all the same. If you know my dad you know that's so him and none of us take it seriously, we know he loves us.

My dad isn't much of a romantic, the only thing my mom had in store for her last night was a card and dinner, but she knows it and has excepts it. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, Mom says he's never been a romantic not even when they were dating or first got married. I do remember him getting flowers and chocolates for her and me and my sisters for Valentines Day growing up but that's about it. I think that's why I choose a man who is a bit more romantic, trust me he use to be a lot more when we first started dating but I think like any couple who have been together for 5+ years, it dwindle a little. But back to my parents...

My parents ssacrificed a lot to give me and my sisters the kind of life they didn't have (but that's another story). I think that's a part of getting married and having a family, you have to be willing to give up things in your life so your kids can have a better life. And it all comes down to communication with your partner, y'all have to figure out what your willing to sacrifice. One of the top reasons marriage end in divorce these days is lack of communication. Good communication skills take work, I'm still working on mine. Communication is different when your in partnership, you have to take their feelings in consideration, you can't just say the first thing that pops in your head. Everything you do as a couple comes down to communication, whether it's everyday sharing or a serious conversation, when your in a relationship you have to both be on the same page. My parents definitely had there moments of disagreement but they knew how to over come those issues and come out stronger on the other side. That's why I take having a family very seriously, I get that from my parents because I know they took raising my and my sisters very seriously.

They knew how they were going to discipline us and that they wanted us to have a good education and go to collage but at the same time they excepted us for who we are and what we wanted to do when we grew up. They believe in our dreams more than we do and they are always there for us when we need them, whether it's to bail us out when we're having a hard time or to celebrate the triumphs with us. They were there at every game, recital and play growing up with congratulations or encouraging words if things didn't go as planned. They treat their marriage like the partnership it's supposed to be and because of that they have set a great example for me and my sisters of what a marriage should be.

When your young your parents are like kings and queens, they can do know wrong (I was a big Daddy's girl) but then you get to a certain point in your life were you think your parents don't know what they are talking about. But it all comes back around when you get into your mid 20's and start thinking about settling down yourself, you go back to the thoughts that maybe they do know what they are talking about, after all if those two crazy people can make a marriage work, it give you hope that so can you.

Happt Anniversary!
Here to 27+ more years together Mom and Dad.
Thanks for your example and guidence!

My Mom in her wedding dress and holding her bouquet, it still fit after 26+ years!
I wish I had a picture of them from their wedding day, I might take one when I go over this weekend and add it later.

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