Do you ever have doubts running through your head at night that you can't sleep. This is a reacquiring thing that is happening to be lately. I think alot has to do with the situation we are in financially. Doubts of whether you made the right decision.
I have recently took a leap of faith my quiting my job to be a full time housewife and MK consultant. It's nice to be home and spend time with the hubby but we have definitely hit a rough patch with fiances since that happened. I wasn't making a lot of money at my previous job, I never thought my paycheck was making a big difference with bills.
One of the main reasons I quite my job was because the hours I was working and the hour L works are completely opposite. We hardly ever saw each other and I was never home at night to cook dinner and I was always so tired that it was a huge chore for me to clean and do the laundry. My marriage isn't stuck in the caveman days were the wife stays home and cleans and cooks all day but both L and I were raised with our moms being home most of the time and we definitely want that for our (future) family.
So I'm at a crossroads... our future is on hold for now until hubby does all the paper work, tests, training, etc he needs to do and we don't know how long it's going to take, so I really mean on hold. We are hopefully going to be renting a house from my aunt, (she has to buy it first) it really is the best option in case L has to leave before our new lease would be up, I won't have to worry about covering bills all by myself. So for now I start back my old job in about a week even though I really don't want to. I'm also trying to come to the realization that going back is not a failure of my leap that I took, it's just something that has to happen at this point and that I'm not giving up on my dreams. And I just have to try to put everything in God's hands and know that he will lead us where we need to go in his own time. That's the hardest part for this control freak who wants to be in charge of everything when it comes to her life/future. I just need to remember one thing...
Oh, I so understand the waiting game of being on hold. We are awaiting to hear about where MB's job will send us, should I get a job here now (which I'm being unsuccessful at) or wait to see if we are even going to be here. yada yada yada.
ReplyDeleteBig prayers and if you ever need an ear, email me!